"This speck doesn't change much. Why should I leave it? It safer here, and if it is lonely it is only because I have not yet brought a friend to watch it too. Or rather, I tried to make him watch it, but her was to concerned with his own speck. Why can't he see how mine is better? His is not so different that he should be unable to measure it's beauties. Perhaps he is deficient, and cannot recognize beauty. Perhaps he is simply rude, or spiteful, and refuses to look out of hate. Perhaps he is not my friend.
Why won't he look at my speck? Why won't he see from my point of view?
He must be evil, to refuse my speck so. His speck must be evil too, so I shall not look at it. It is good that I can avoid his evil by averting my eyes, for otherwise I might be changed by that speck. No, I shall keep my eyes firmly affixed on my own, for it will not change me, nor I it. It is safer that way."
"Being ignorant of others, you will never be betrayed or hurt, though you will never escape from feeling sadness" -Neon Genesis Evagelion
Monday, January 9, 2012
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Look and be truthful
If you can truthfully summarize your entire being in a single analogy, then you have studied yourself well. But if you can truthfully use the same analogy a month later, you have spent too little time studying the outside world. Anyone who watches the world knows this: the watching changes the watcher. You cannot be true to your experiences and simultaneously remain stagnant. You must either adapt yourself, intentionally and with purpose, or be changed by the tide of events that surround you. Only those who live inside themselves, oblivious to the stimuli of life, can avoid this existence.
But this does not address which state is better. Humanity surely believes that it is awake to the world around it. Some look at the trees and say, "see! I am awake because I see trees!" Others watch production lines, others watch ticket tapes, still others watch the rest of the watchers. And if you were to pick an individual out of that mass and ask them "Are you awake?" they would reply "Yes." But if you asked them "Can you see the world?" they would say "No.
I do not need to see the whole world. The world is someone else's problem. I don't need to watch the trees; let someone else do that. I don't need to watch the production line; let someone else do that. I only need to watch my little piece. As long as every piece is watched by someone, everything will be alright."
And then they stare at it, that one speck that is theirs. It changes little, and they change little. When someone asks them to change, they yell "why should I have to change? Life is still the same!" But life has changed without them all, if only they would look around and notice.
A speck does not constitute the world we live in unless we choose to let it. And we may, for who can tell us differently? We can claim they anything, however small, contains the whole truth. But in doing so, we limit ourselves to that piece.
I do not wish live only on a speck. I wish to live on this world, as much of it as I can get too. I wish to live beyond this world, if that can be accomplished. But to do that, I must pay attention to this world, this whole world. To live in a world as big as ours, we must be prepared to change ourselves more broadly than the road we travel. And to change ourselves, we need only look, and be truthful to the reality we find.
But this does not address which state is better. Humanity surely believes that it is awake to the world around it. Some look at the trees and say, "see! I am awake because I see trees!" Others watch production lines, others watch ticket tapes, still others watch the rest of the watchers. And if you were to pick an individual out of that mass and ask them "Are you awake?" they would reply "Yes." But if you asked them "Can you see the world?" they would say "No.
I do not need to see the whole world. The world is someone else's problem. I don't need to watch the trees; let someone else do that. I don't need to watch the production line; let someone else do that. I only need to watch my little piece. As long as every piece is watched by someone, everything will be alright."
And then they stare at it, that one speck that is theirs. It changes little, and they change little. When someone asks them to change, they yell "why should I have to change? Life is still the same!" But life has changed without them all, if only they would look around and notice.
A speck does not constitute the world we live in unless we choose to let it. And we may, for who can tell us differently? We can claim they anything, however small, contains the whole truth. But in doing so, we limit ourselves to that piece.
I do not wish live only on a speck. I wish to live on this world, as much of it as I can get too. I wish to live beyond this world, if that can be accomplished. But to do that, I must pay attention to this world, this whole world. To live in a world as big as ours, we must be prepared to change ourselves more broadly than the road we travel. And to change ourselves, we need only look, and be truthful to the reality we find.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
What silently overcomes fears?
Its taken me a while to think out this second post. It is strange to think through who may be reading this, who may be judging me. I'm surprised at my own self-consciousness. It is the nature of all social beings to think in relation to others, I suppose, but it seems so inhibitive at times.
But what was inhibiting my writing, and continues to now, can't be a direct social link to my audience. It is unlikely that many will find this who know me, or recognize it as mine. There is no Direct social contact inherent. What limits me is rather my own imagination. I can picture reactions to this writing, and other things I have been writing. These reactions are not always favorable, hence my fears. How is it that i act against them now?
I have not consciously run through the probabilities of favorable and unfavorable responses. I haven't challenged the basic fears that tell me not to write. Yet I write. When did I overcome them? Was it even I?
What silently overcomes fears?
But what was inhibiting my writing, and continues to now, can't be a direct social link to my audience. It is unlikely that many will find this who know me, or recognize it as mine. There is no Direct social contact inherent. What limits me is rather my own imagination. I can picture reactions to this writing, and other things I have been writing. These reactions are not always favorable, hence my fears. How is it that i act against them now?
I have not consciously run through the probabilities of favorable and unfavorable responses. I haven't challenged the basic fears that tell me not to write. Yet I write. When did I overcome them? Was it even I?
What silently overcomes fears?
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Why communicate?
Because I feel I must. I have a drive to tell others about me feelings and achievements and ambitions and failures. I know my place in the world is barely greater than that of an ant, that at my death my contributions to mankind will be remembered by few and felt by even fewer. I know that within a century I will be forgotten. The project of my life will have little meaning in the grand scheme.
But I am driven to try anyway. I want to recognize my inabilities and overcome them. I want to defeat myself, rebuild myself, and repeat until death. And I want my work and thought to be chronicled for the few who might find use and reason in it. i hope that you, whoever you are, can grow be better adapted than I. I hope that one day all humanity can share together the goal of collective, conscious development.
But I am driven to try anyway. I want to recognize my inabilities and overcome them. I want to defeat myself, rebuild myself, and repeat until death. And I want my work and thought to be chronicled for the few who might find use and reason in it. i hope that you, whoever you are, can grow be better adapted than I. I hope that one day all humanity can share together the goal of collective, conscious development.
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